I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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