TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
