I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
