Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize