We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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