So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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