You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize