Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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