Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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