She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
