I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
