'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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