I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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