"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
