STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
