your thong is hanging out like whoa
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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