Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
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