Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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