Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
