I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize