Please, let me fuck your mom
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My penis needs a shock collar
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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