oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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