She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
