This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize