what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
