WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
