Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
