haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
