I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
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