Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
