If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
