No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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