Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
