I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
