he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
