I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
