its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize