The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He kissed a someone with a penis
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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