Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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