I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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