I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
