I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
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