wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
