So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize