they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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