Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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