i can't believe i had my finger in that
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
how drunk are you?
Several
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
