I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
