Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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