If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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