Your tits are I can't wait for
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
my poor anus
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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