When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
