My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
