He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
