So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
