She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
