3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
