a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
