You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
