I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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