Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
