What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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