FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
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