Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Dignity is for republicans.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
