Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
