i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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