wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
