so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize