I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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