best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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