ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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